XyloCke

bitches & switches

2006-07-13T07:29:00.000-07:00

so what if he's got all brods in the frat? it doesn't easily just cut off on the lose everytime he brings out all the past, compare and control the person rather the girl that he truly loves. one thing i've learned in this escapade of Poena, is how to survive a misleading poem of guys. its all in a system of Rolando's sulcus over the Sylvian fissure. Like a whirlwind inside of my head, just a face hiding beneath your skin quoted from LinkinPark, it's so hard to distinguish real love from how men love women in reality. I came out from the massage parlor, relaxed by a Balinese therapist and voila, here i am back in a dome of darkened spirits. Good thing, its effect on me still here plus a few friends who would really listen and witness my feat. till then, Ananaki of TgP. yOU don't deserve XYLOCKE---me.

NABUHAY NA RAW AKO..

2006-05-17T01:33:00.000-07:00

..heyah.. may nagbabasa pa rin kaya ng mga posts ko?.hmmm.. miz yah guyz and gurls!!..I've so many adventures to tell. ..new surprising stories and experiences that u might want to know. I had one super sad ones that really left me weeping every night but still, my stories would never be complete if it weren't for some old and new FRIENDS that come along my away and save me. I'll be ready to post 'em before school year restarts. i miss all folks here! I miss d cool bloggers outthere!!

HI JON, CLA, DAH, YAP, BEA, ROCH, IBZ AND CoLLoIDs!!!!

F R E E D O M

2006-02-15T12:02:00.000-08:00

.. i've got my own new world again. alone and sobbing..

that's freedom.

Clarissa...

2005-11-29T17:35:00.000-08:00

'Coz this angel has flown away from me Leavin' me a drunken misery How I wished I could clipped her wings and make her mine For all eternity....

I never thought I could've possibly been losing someone very special to me. Never thought of the things I should've said before she dried my heart and drifted away just like the wind. I love her so dearly and I couldn't think of any other way on how to get her back. I miss her. I missed the stories--all those "boyz" stories, crushes, chisms, gigs,basketball,'til down to our secrets. She's one of my confidantes. All problems and odds in love, she listens. You can barely say she's an ordinary friend. Don't dare. Because she has lived with me as a friend through out the tests of time...

Maybe, now, she's happy while I'm trying really hard to bring her back. What I only ask is to bring our friendship back. If I can see her at some place again, I'd do whatever she wants me to..I want her to know that I care for her like a true friend should...Only she didn't feel it. I wanted to say that this is just another test to make our friendship stronger. Please, God... let her forgive me...

And yes, I may probably lookin' like a funny nose here.But I don't care. If that's what it takes to make her forgive me, I'll take it even to the most painful part...

I'M SORRY, CLA..

Did I promised??

2005-11-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

Well, hear me. I was there when I barely needed to write. I'm at the school library right now, tryin to make a post short enough to discuss all the events that procurred prior to my "plain" sembreak...

I never had a bit chance to travel long miles unlike other colleagues who have a crop of dimes and gold to bring them to Disney, Hawaii or Paris. I just had my kilometer trips roaming around the city in Pampanga and Manila. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the company of new friends and my cousins during my unquoted singularity.

BOys never run out. They're still there whenever you need them.I've had Darell aka SnoOpz--the gmicK...JOseph--the guitarman and a liar...Justin--the lefty nurse.. Others were just guyZ who remembers like storm under a hot sunshine.. NO USE.

Christmas is FAST approaching!!! At least, I'm counting the days and putting every single cent for my gift list..!! Taadaah! I've grown up, uehhrrrr.. I guess.

Keyte's 18. Soon, me and my girlZ toO. Got plaNs alrEady. BUt it's aLL goNna be a SECRET...

WAIT FOR FURTHER ANNOUNCEMENTS. HaHaHaHa!!!

Ang Isla Sa Uste...

2005-07-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

Una sa lahat, nais ko sanang batiin ang aking kaibigang si Kathleen Anne Danganan para sa kanyang natatanging kasulatan ukol sa pagsasalarawan ng buhay niya sa kolehiyo.Halos parehas kami ng nadarama.

Ngayong araw na ito, mag-aalas singko ng hapon ay tila bang wala akong maalala sa mga nangyari sa aking paaralan.Mainit at kahit pa sumakay ako ng FX para makauwi, ang pawis sa aking katawan ay patuloy na dumadaloy sa aking balat. Hindi lang ang sikat ng araw ang may gawa nito kundi pati na rin ang puting unipormeng daig pa ng mga sa madre ang haba. Wala naman akong magawa upang mapigilan ang init. Kung sa bagay, kagat lang ng langgam yan kung ikukumpara sa lamig sa loob ng Chem.Lab namin. Oo, malamig. Nakaka-drain ng utak ang tatlong oras na pamamalagi sa loob ng kwartong iyon. Nakinig ka na nga't lahat-lahat, wala ka pa ring naintindihan sa pinag-aaralan. Minsan, inakala ko na madali lang ang kursong may Chemistry kasi na-enjoy ko ito nung hayskul. Mali at isang napakalaking pagkakamali ang naisip ko. Akalain mong dadalawa lang kami ni "covalent" ang nakakuha ng 2 over 15 sa post test tungkol sa naming ang writing organic compounds sa 49 na nag-exam. Ngunit, kakaiba ang islang napuntahan ko sapagkat ayon nga sa sinabi kanina ng Math teacher namin, may mga nangongopya raw sa klase namin during the quiz about sa Algebraic Expressions. Ay sus! Nakapikit pa yata ako habang sinasagutan ko un.(yabang..hehe)Pero nakalulungkot isipin na sadyang may mga taong tamad.Mga taong walang sariling sikap ika nga nila.

Alam kong napakarami pang mga bagay ang hindi ko pa natutuklasan sa islang pinamumugaran ko. Masaya pa rin naman at alam kong hindi ako naliligaw sapagkat may mga kaibigang dumating at nais makasama ako sa katagalan ng panahon. Naniniwala ako na malalampasan namin ang mga pagsubok hangga't may ngiti pa kaming maipapakita sa lahat.

At naalala ko na pala. Kumain ako ng curry chicken kaninang lunch kasama mga friends ko. Lasang gulaman yung bottomless ice tea namin ni Ace. Eh, sa halagang kinse pesos magrereklamo ka pa ba?! Hai, alam niyo bang simula pa nung unang araw sa paaralan hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin kaming nakikitang masarap kainan at pagtambayan?! Kung dati, sa SM Pampanga lang ako nakakapag-Hotshots,Siomai at Burger sa Dapitan ay halos mapurga na ko sa maNok ng KFC, sa chao fan ng Chowking at sa mga tinda ng Wendys'! Kaya sinusubukan na namin ngayon ang pangangalap sa mga lutong bahay. Gaya nung kanina, pero sablay pa rin kasi In Can yung Sisig na inorder nina Ace. Ngek! Sana lang busugin kami ng Panginoon sa pagmamahal este sa masarap na pagkain...

Mangarag-ngarag naman yung mga tanong ng Psych at Philo teachers namin. Isang nangangailangan pa ng mahabang explanation sa tanong na "Who Are You?" at isang Demi-God daw ayon sa kanya. Pero enjoy! Sa katunayan, sa kanila ko natutunan kung sino nga ba talaga ako. Ang sagot lang naman ay, " I am a becoming." Simply, because I can still have my potentiality to be who I can be. Hohaah...Sa Theo class naman, aba, akalain mong nakilala ko si Thomas Aquinas?.. Ang taba pala niya. hehehe..

So far, yun muna ikukuwento ko. Abangan niyo sa susunod baka may lovelife na uli ako.. yippee!

Jilted

2005-06-10T16:21:00.000-07:00

If there was any sign that I know how to stop against bruising my ego that would be nothing. I don’t even think about why these signs come and start smacking down the confident self. Maybe, it’s because they are inevitable. They seem to attack like straight and silent bullets fast enough to make me grasp the holy air. In a minute or two, I’ll be dead.

It isn’t easy to imagine the words so you could just make a good and enticing story to tell. Real efforts must somehow take the place of being a creative writer. I am not what it takes and that’s why I go up for challenges which are uncertain of outcome no matter how powerful they are to change my life. I speak up language like it is my own. A classmate once told that I am such a deep person. The heck of thing I don’t really understand when I usually think of myself as someone who could easily express what she wants and has to say. Just as songs are produced through free thoughts flushed by musicians and composers, so do are my essays. Not a single topic condones this circle brain that’s why I kept on inserting each caps locked letter to let others follow and so on. And so, it’s really up to the reader to read between the lines other than what clichés have been known for.

I called this scribble “jilted” from a magazine and found it was appealing as if I was Tom Cruise’ another ditched babe for Katie Holmes. Anyway, I am not jilted by any guy for any other girls’ sake. For the least thing, nobody tries to push me towards the end of the subway for being too mushy. I just swoon over fun and sucking pain. The reason why I put up such message is to raise some confusion. Am I jilted or not? Maybe, not. Look guy, I want to you to read what’s on my mind but we both know you just can’t. I wonder why you’re able to sacrifice a teddy bear to get over a grip for your selfish desires. You could’ve caught me red-handed but let me sweep off the dust. I’d like to say, “You are dust.” How could you just stand proud to the world and utter as if innocent and pure? Right now, I am totally enjoying some kid stuff and glad to say your bear has got himself a partner named “Sherry”. She’s a lot new from Russ and smells cherry red.

Blatantly, Xylocke filled each of your lonely hours at home. She would rub her skin against yours whenever the cold streams down the fury Superman blanket. The afternoon light often shifts to heavenly candles as it strikes the veil of the so-called wench. Everything went on so smooth though, the girl admits they were the roughest ways to get dirty. She loved every moment of it and you said you never wanted anyone but her. You PROMISED to love and keep her yet, all you ever did after was NOTHING. If she could’ve remembered your last words then everybody knew it was a sure lie. The truth never hides; it bluntly swears you are a cheater. For my dear readers, please be careful of this pilot wannabe. He may have lied to me a thousand times and become his dupe but, it should never be you, girls. Do not allow him to call you his princess. In case it happens, you are actually giving him the power to hurt you. It still feels good to wake up each morning with your vast in peace and harmony.

I couldn’t say more for it has been 15 days since you last met Xylocke inside your crib. My sweat has turned into blood. She deserves the pleasure of vengeance until the day you wished you never met such prudence. As for me, no woman becomes jilted if we ever had a perfect man existed.

Ear ache & Heartsob

2005-06-06T01:50:00.000-07:00

My 3-day stay with cousins, Einar, Eder, Edlynne, Rebo and Thirdy proved that simple joys turn out to be great nouveau riches in life.

BEWARE OF EARACHES.For three days and still aching? Ain’t sure of my term basta it’s a condition that happens when you stay long underwater until your ears get clogged and almost incapable of hearing. I’ve tried cleaning them with a few cotton buds but they only dried my ear causing more painful sores. There hasn’t been any recent study that could cure this type of ear defect. And so, I suggest to all its patients to try massaging the ears with cleaned and sanitized fingers.

P.S. For more information and steps on how to massage your ears, please contact me @ 0927 388 9362.

THE SHOWER PARTY. It all happened just a month away before I’ll be turning 17. I guess what “all” meant there wasn’t exactly the thought of losing virginity but a total experience with some extraordinary femme games.

Femme games like dressing up an eggplant with a chocolate flavored condom, designing a bridal gown using napkin rolls, controlling actions, etc. are games that a heart of a sixteen year old might not be able to handle. More so, she must’ve been in gigolo night bars rather than in a room surrounded by ladies who know how a real p**** look like and how their minds crave for something big! And yes, we also had a game called “The Most Creative ****s” made out of clay. Don’t worry guyz, I didn’t win. I just showed them a picture of red hotdog in my head! = )

Anyway, the whole thing was cool and fun. My sisters’ friends were a lot more approachable than me and they’re awesome women. I just wish I could grow up as cheerful and zesty like them.

LOVE-O-METER.A pilot wannabe. A retired disc jockey. An afflicted nursing student. They all have guts to say something enough for me to explore the hysterical world of men. I’m infatuated with the first and I’m sure it isn’t love. Where is he now? Huh, he just left a brown bear and has been gone__forever. The d.j. has stopped spinning the cuts that’s why I found out that that day was his birthday. If he was out in da club, I won’t be talking to him over the line saying,” Thank you for the good advice.” Oh, and who can’t remember the new text master?! He’s gonna be a nurse, don’t you ever try a rebuttal against him.

I am single. Reserved and Special. Now, that’s a heartsob for all wreckless men!

Weekend with frens

2005-05-27T03:34:00.000-07:00

In My Couch…..

2005-05-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

Consider being single. What could become of this world if all people can’t understand themselves? Does it make a difference when you reach the other end of your limits than keeping every detail of your knowledge about sex in a slumbook? It makes me think of the love doctor “Hitch” when he finally admitted that he did NOTHING to transform men and women into super-relational beings.

Of course I am not single at the moment. I just wanted myself to further comprehend with what is exactly the way I’m feeling right now towards the other guys I’ve met indistinctively. If I’m going to die today, the least I am sure that they will be there, right next to my wake. They are merely useless men of my society. I can see they’re starting to terrorize my dignity and bank. It has been almost a 24/7 career that I even had to contribute in the destruction of the term, “iloveyou”. There’s no way I’m getting serious but the problem is with the people who think they know myself better than me.

All right. She talked to me while I am bare and naked. The guard reported to her about the guy who parked in front of our building. I didn’t know the guards’ description to her but rest assured that I perfectly knew what the guy did.

Sorry. It was my fault that I let him go beyond the streets of Don Pedro. The whole reason why is my periodic boredom. I couldn’t find any other thing to do inside this four-walled place so I immediately thought seeing someone new outside could be a short remedy.

Why? The thing here is I am allowing myself to let loose for a certain period of time. My plans are ready and I need not to get too focused before it should really start running. I told you that there will be surely “no boyfriends” in college, right? I can never hide anything from you because you’re my sister—just two in a world of fools. I’m not going back, just trust me.

Helen’s Leap

2005-05-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my Greek Mythology class with Mrs. Leodegaria Celis I’ve found something that has reminded me of some things which I am forgetting to keep…..

I AM HELEN.
Amidst the untangled traces of Greece, I brought forth my enkindling love that has shaken its lasting peace. I am the one who had shown such bodily courage, yet the spirit has been treated as a slave mistakably. I belong to myself indeed, yet I have lost it. For some reasons that the gods would’ve or not wanting to punish me, I do not know. All I wanted was to find true love and the truest I chose was Troy. Admitting that I have sinned from the day I left Sparta and my kingdom, I humbly reveal the concealed and frail me. I am Helen.

Helen is the name for which the most beautiful woman upon the crusts of the earth is given. It contained eyes that could smite any man’s strength. The lips perfectly shaped and subtle are red instruments of its wit and braveness. Its classic face having the sweetest smile makes it really unforgettable. No one has ever searched around the world for another woman incomparable to me. All of these are graced before my undying name filling each and every event of my life in those days. In those days when suddenly, light came out and shined blindingly upon my face. My heart, as if jaded a hundred years, felt a tingling sensation of joy and hope. It beated a thousand times faster than before! I smelled the sweet scent of love and began wandering on its garden, with the light, Paris.
When I woke up, things are seemed to be fading away, now, because of the darkness that is yet to come. And with all of a sudden, the name Helen became the one and only reason why war has sprouted.

For many times have I been wondering if it was wrong to love. The answers appeared to me like strong conditions that can bury all my senses then shatter my whole life. I wasn’t happy to see Paris and his people shed their blood and die. To forever know that he’ll never be back, I deeply mourned. From then on, I learned to love eternally. Though it hurts so much to regret things I didn’t want to happen, I have accepted it. I swear myself not to commit the same mistake again. Not even Helenus, who was a seer and prince, could ever take me away from my love. Paris already died but war did not end. “ It will never be, for humans may kept committing mistakes and at the same time, learning their lesson.”

I Can.....

2005-05-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we have to be beautiful INSIDE and OUT according to Jessica Soho's report and i'm all laughing out my chest. It tickled my aorta,actually. Just like "love is blind" and the other spices which I guess, most writers pick to get their most creative story ever told. Her report is about people who want to look good and feel s-e-x-y among all sorts of species including the pandaca pygmea.Another close topic was even talked about in Debate(with Mare&Pare). Believe me, both sides were members of the Plumming Society a.k.a. Fat-Coolers....

I did not finished my 3-day diet. I just can't live without a zip of soda and my choco-caramel cake. It made me a li'l lazy and always tired to do chores.

The gym's merrier this time. I had a new friend named Sarah and she's half-Arab.She's great and so easy to be with. She does belly-dancing and scores a lot with the men inside the gym. hehe.. I hope I didn't spill anything. ;-p

I'm starting to learn all kinds of dogs.I watch Pet.Ko. by Tony every Saturdays. I think I'm having a dog for my birthday......hmmmmmmm....

Ice skating is not the sport for me. The ice rink melts whenever I tried to smash the blade.

I'll be in Pampanga today until Saturday. Colloids people wants me to come on our swimming party this Friday!... I'm gonna be there!

flowers

2005-05-07T13:25:00.000-07:00

Hi Guys!..Well, looks got I had enough of my bubbly summer trippin! OOober enjoy! It really feels like I'm free though most of those days were spent at a daily routine:

a.m.-breakfast! either a banana or oatmeal only.yum!

-workout @ the gym.yeah! and i'm loosing a good 8 lbs. for about two weeks ago.. :-)

-munch @ home watching ETCS' tHE O.C.

p.m.- the TV is still on but I left it on HBO...

-cook my dinner! and I am really honest in telling you. Currently, I'm practicing Adobo!hehe!

n.y.t.- txt nd txt nd txt n tx n tx n tx.....and Oh! Dannys' calling me. FYI: Danny is a Friend.

This is such a total wreck out my time here inside the cafe. I bought my new PC and right now I left my sister at home with the technician. I guess this is effort to write as much as I could to be able to news ...uhh..at least myself!

Anyway, I got my flickr site to show you that Ive been out for a summer trip. The whole Reyes' clan went to Bataan to attend a yearly family reunion. It was my first time to join and it was fantastic. They're all great people...I'm planning to make a series out of it. Times'up~!!..See you around! Miss yoohoo!! MmmwwaAAahhHhh;-p

Empty Banquet

2005-04-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

I miss my site so much that I don't end my day without having long minutes of thoughts running through my brain cells. Goodness, I'm free... but for only a day and a half.

Counting the days, I had my 14 moments of solitude and war. I can't describe the pain I went through against my so-called "family". I do admit I'm wrong.. so wrong that I've learned that self-denial is the best weapon to keep myself alive...that I would almost want to conquer the whole terranova and kill people ala Hitler style. That's the way my whole life goes..uncertain of reasons. I'm a vague person that's why most people don't understand me. One day you'll see me crying, another day--laughing out wildly. Yet, it doesn't perceive my true identity. I'm like a chameleon and people would suddenly get crazed. They begin to tell their own stories and find my advices. Most of them would follow around 90% of what I said and their problems put them higher above my ground. I just don't know why it is sOo easy for me to solve others' problems when my life grows no inch higher than the weeds of the desert. I am so vain that I tend to neglect other people's judgement on the selfish decisions I make. I GET A LOT OF WHAT I WANT RATHER THAN THOSE WHICH I REALLY NEED. This is too much of what I believed to be my mOst preCioUs liFe.

Whatever comes, it'll surely go.

My family knows me best. At first, I think my friends do but I didn't see them right by my side during the war. My family is all I ever needed to get me through everything I wanted and for that, they should be shown more than the greatest respect and love not a lot of people can give. Evermore, I will always remember their love even the single peck of salt in my tongue, just so that my hunger can be satisfied.

Right now, I'm in an empty banquet. Each day it would be filled with all the life it needs... waiting for the right time to celebrate and rejoice... to welcome the NEW ME..

Of Cobwebs and Waters

2005-04-02T17:56:00.000-08:00

While most graduating students get pretty excited wearing their togas with caps, I'm at one side of the classroom making my mind busy over the next things that would happen after I stepped down the final stage of my high school years. I look at my classmates each time they pass by infront of me, reminiscing all the cherished moments we had at the same time, saving them inside my photographic memory. As I let my sister took the pictures with some of my close friends, I can hardly resist my tears from streaming down my eyes but I didn't like to make some scenes so I pretended to have water splashed through it. Anyway, most of them weren't able to notice, so thank goodness the moment was happy for all of us.

P.S. tHe gRad PHoToS Will be released as soOn as I get my new blogsite. I miss You aLL of mY fRiends specially the COLLOIDS peepl and d MiNx!! Happy SuMMeR gALs!!

On the verge of saying no, I said yes..........

Ever wondered how a spider can spun a thousand webs through out its whole life time without having to suffer from sticking love affairs?? huhmm, too ironic isn't it? Or, what about a 16-year old heart of a girl stolen by an almost perfect being that can still breath after eating late night congee and beef wrap?? Can you think of other reasons why you and your boyfriend broke up because he had just actually said to your face that he's tired of you?? Too much, huh, and I'm crazy!

So, I thought I had enough of Arts' misdemeanor last Holy Week. Not all of my friends knew what had really took place except for Clarissa and Ibz. And I'm sorry I can't put every detail into words. I might go beyond extraordinary reasoning. Its' just that I've learned how to put off the fire before it can burn out the entire house where I was in. Yes, and that is by splurging water on the hot source. The water was still a bit icy and I first thought that its the only way to spare all my possessions, even my toe nail polish left under my bedroom. And since there was still a line to reconnect, I also immediately called the Fireman's House.Good thing He came that I'm still alive and kicking fire. Nevertheless, in the midst of smoke and falling ashes, I found myself whole. Not even one part less than the others. On my side was a spider trying to look for some place to hide. Then, as I was following to his direction, my hand just suddenly wanted to grab it. They could've felt so excited on finding a new friend only if I was able to catch the insect. But I've got my last leap to outrun him. It has been a hard choice over taking the leap and getting the spider or letting him free and being alone in the porch all my life.

In picking either of those options can never change my fate, and I definitely believe that. However, it is only I that makes and weaves my so long destiny and that whatever one does to his or her life has its own effects and consequences. Life still circles no matter how bad it could have gone. But as long as I have myself, nothing compares. We are all lovely humans...

And Friends.. don't you worry. I'm ok and glad that I've overcome the heat.I'm saved.

And to you, mr.spider__ its' all worth the leap. Always love your girlfriend.

Heaven's Line

2005-03-28T12:22:00.000-08:00

So, hows' your Easter?? Have you runned down your eyes over your usual shows on TV which were actually banned by the Catholic Church in observance of the Holy Week or are you happy that Christ is finally risen and that the whole summer is just starting to put some shine on your face?... Good for everyone, and I'm adding that mine's a li'l closer to those ones...

March 27, 2004 has been the most frightening day of my life. That was the time when I thought that God took the most precious person in my life. He had almost taken the life from whom I came from. My dad died after he had seen me, nonetheless, the scared daughter was only able to whisper, "I love you" from the heart.

A year after, and this is what I am. I may never tell you exactly what I do, what I feel, who I am with, where I am, or even how my life had changed everything after the sad lost of my father. But, I'd like to tell everyone how it increased my faith in the Lord..how true faith brought me into a new discovery of the real me..how it showered my spirit with every courage and fire..how He gives every moment a chance to see&feel my dad.. and how He blesses each and every day of my existence, may it be a challenge or victory. God brings out the very best in me.

Yesterday was truly a heaven's line as our family celebrated my dad's first year death anniversary. There had been several signs from God since morning. As we entered the church, we noticed that the priest who had blessed my fathers' rest last year was the same priest that is preciding the mass. While we're all listening inside the church, a woman approached and asked us to be the lead offerers. My grandma and aunt both agreed. They were with me as we walked towards the altar. When everything have been offered, the priest laid his both hands upon us and blessed us with his guiding words. Tears fell from my grandma and aunts' eyes. And that was just the time that I realized that signs have been scattered upon our family. It was as if God is telling us that truly, my dad, is in His paradise, safe and restful. After the mass, we headed to the cemetery and took pictures with his tomb. At home, people and visitors started to crowd the whole space and waited for the thanksgiving mass before the food feasting. The entire day went well and happy for everyone else and for my dad, just as Christ, has been risen from the dead.. :-)

Mrs.Fields' comeback

2005-03-25T22:24:00.000-08:00

I can still remember the face of the young beggar who pushed himself to get in the jeep I was riding way on my home to manila. He looks about two years younger than me,with his muscles too early to be lean and shaped as though a kargador or a child laborer. I was supposed to give him my last twenty peso bill in the light of the Holy Tuesday but I fondly realized another thing from his face. Its swollen eyes seemed to be saying the opposite of what he is begging. As he went through the inner side of the jeep, the passengers started noticing his intimidating presence and I saw some gave coins instead of food. The beggar, a boy, asked the driver to stop as soon as he finished his "job". I intentionally did not give my bill upon pondering that this boy can still do a lot--can make a life out of his own effort and muscles. Now, I think I'm wise to have it done than letting myself to be a fool. Instead of slowing down the engine, the driver pressed harder on the gas, speeding at around 130kps. I was assured that he knew the boy so well. And as for me, I proved it true that the beggar was practically nothing but a rugby addict when I examined his eyes. I even saw him again riding from one jeep to another at a traffic jam when I was with my cousins.

Enough of that trouble. I'm so excited to tell you guyz that my grOovie but evEr-religious Granma went back from the states last monday. I'm just a speck worried because I wasn't able to pick her up from the airport. I had my graduation practice, that's why. Nevertheless, my tuesday day trip change as soon as I came home here in manila at our family house. Everything felt blooming and rich. The entire home smelled like the air of Maryland. I had no time to chat and talk over somebody on the phone except to my titos and titas asking about how Mama's(that's the term her every apo calls her) arrival went so far. I was just so happy that she's home. God knows how much I miss her more than our all-time favorite Mrs.Fields cookies that she buys for me everytime she's here. She's the closest grandma I know, even though I was raised by my other grandmother in Pampanga. It's probably because I'm her first girl grandchild which makes me one of the favorites..(ooOpS! Cousins should not be reading this or else.....).Or maybe, it is primarily a cause of all the people and relatives who keeps telling me that I looked exactly the same as her when she was still young and known as one of the crowning glories of beauty and wit of their time(wOw.)..I didn't know I have a classic image pala...hehe..

Of course, in return to all her love and care for all of us in the family, especially to my dad, I also show gratitude to my mama by keeping and following her words. I guess I'm not like the other teens who prefers bars and movies than being sentimental and close talking with their elders. I like being with them, just inside the house, sharing one of a kind stories and doing my most favorite thing: eating!..

I think this will be one of the best times I'll be having early this year.... to have a grandma on my graduation day and Mrs.Fields on ordinary days............ :-)

waking up

2005-03-19T12:40:00.000-08:00

This entry is exclusively for "mr.almost perfect".

I came by down a chatroom a couple of weeks ago after before our last periodical exams. It looks like as if no one has ever really noticed that I've got myself in. Not until this forget-my-chatname friend PM me as I was trying to disturb the other chatters on the screen. He never used any type of pathogenic environment so I'm thinking nothing extraordinary. He ain't sweet so I better not answer before I get to lose my prepaid card into wasted time. I'm sure about it--no extra hello but a direct question of age, address and sex. What is this?? Sort of an application thingy before you can "belong" to his world....or maybe, he could've helped me find my long lost soulmate...

Whatever that was for, I did not refuse to his will. I immediately typed everything I could say just to impress this insect. (yeah, I guess I'm comfortable calling him that way)..He likes Spiderman a lot and he remembers every line Tobey McGuire has to say. Just about a few hours after I got home, the phone rang...

OOoohh.. and how could I remember how and why I gave him our house line number??!.. I seriously thought that it would be impossible for him to call me with such factors: 1. he lives 5+ kilometers away from my area 2. it's already late at 11:15 p.m. 3. he's not typically sweet 4. he can forget my number and 5..... ____aiii... no idea,. But I guess that was how everything between the both of us have started...

Now, as you read along with me "mr.almost perfect", I hope it's not yet too late to say that you are indeed an almost perfect being for me. Having loved anybody regardless of his or her status, whether single or taken, differences, misdemeanors, race or religion at any given time is but every god's greatest blessing to us.

I wish not to ever talk to you again after this since you have confirmed with me your purpose in my life. I guess it's much easier to belong now.You will never see me but I'd like to promise that you will remain a special place in my heart. Somewhere in that place, I knew how to laugh at myself and hang on over to things which made me survive...I'll never forget our story, my friend....

I dreamt a lot when Art was away....

overwhelmed

2005-03-13T16:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it feels awkward to be loved by someone else.

I better get ready for graduation before everyone's get cramming along buying their stage shoes and hiring make-up artists hours before the whole festivity....auggh..anyone can call it whatever he or she wants bsta ako,hmmmp!-an ordinary day-..see this: I spent the entire four years in high school either studyin'aftr school or eating at mcd0 before a project meeting, going to the mall to shop for a book or watching movies to get somethin'stucked to your head and later on, share the whole story the next monday morning. I maybe cranky at times when my stomach tends to terrorize my whole system and couldn't find any CR to bomb it(hmm..it usually starts during physics or religion time..hehe).In the end of each passing day was a tired body and a stressed mind. Many people have said that I'm masipag in terms of studying but they would also deny me when it comes to cleaning my room and doing some home chores. In spite of these everyday routines in my life, my heart does not hope for anything change. I like it when people aren't always nice to me. It makes me smile when I get to eat four sundaes during weekends not noticing my weight. And most of all, I always thank God for giving me ordinary hours to make a day but with different experiences to learn and to cherish.

Lastly, I'd like to say that I'm happier than any other graduating girl in the planet. Even though I don't have anything special to offer, maybe seeing me march towards the shining high school diploma is one of the best gifts I could give to you, dad and mom.. I knew you'll always be here in my heart. Your'e one big part of it!

'tis one's for you.. I love you:-)

term test breakout

2005-03-09T14:37:00.000-08:00

hai.. just so you would know my dear xylocke, i feel eccentrical about taking my final high school term test tomorrow. No, i think that's more than what i really feel inside. As you can see, it's lunch time that I didn't want to eat though my stomach's grumbling with each step I made climbing here at the 2nd flr. in our school. I accompanied rOch to the library and I've seen a bunch of studs drooling over the photocopying machine to produce some reviewers for their upcoming supEr tensed finals. Well, who cares if I don't wanna be like them?..Maybe, just maybe i'm just losing myself for quite some days already-flunked out tests, lots of hesitations, lacking creativity and most especially, dressing up like a mu-mu..uhh!weird term...but i guess I'm not obliged to discuss this to you since I'm going psycho today. It's computer time and oh!--Mr.Mendoza's just got hanging around to check if we were really up to some typing letters for the Senate. Hmmmm... Prestene's doing the job and I'm thanking her 'coz I know I wouldn't be able to finish this blog for 5 minutes in a flash.. Anyway, within the next 30 minutes we'll all be having our long test in physics which would be uh,, sort of a review for the term test tomorrow. I've started browsing over my notes yesterday and I'm about to conclude to myself that I deserve the grade that I want: the perfect score!..yuppa,, there's a lotta hope coming now. I'm quite relieved now. Just need your calls for "good-lucks"!! take care people!muuahhh!

Starting my First w/ the Last..

2005-03-05T13:04:00.000-08:00

LAST NAME: ignacio

LAST HAIRCUT: last year_september

LAST PIERCE/TATOO: nah, i don't have 'em

LAST CRY: few days ago

LAST SWEAR: yesterday_on our 1st friday mass!

LAST SONG HEARD: "let d love begin" insyd d taxi

LAST WATCHED TV SHOW: myx

LAST WEBSITE: friendster

LAST YELL: yesterday in school---"Good Day and Thank You, Mr.Mendoza!!!!!"..hay.

LAST MOVIE: constantine

LAST MISSED CALL: mark_kchat

LAST RECEIVED CALL: art>mallows

LAST NUMBER DIALED: tita lyn

LAST SMS SENT: to my soOpah doOpah loOvie maLLoWs!

LAST SMS RECEIVED: same as the last sms sent

LAST BATH: this mornin'..

LAST FIST FIGHT: yesterday?..haha! with Art..

LAST ACHIEVEMENT: no pop-up zits today! haha..congratulate me guyz!

LAST SMILE: this morning..

LAST TIME U WERE SCOLDED BY UR FOLKS: a week ago when i tried to sell my fone...

LAST HARD-LAUGH: yesterday i think

LAST TIME U FELT SICK: can't remember..

LAST EXERCISE: ooohh.. i've got a hard time thinking..

LAST TIME U HAD CRUSHES: i have em all the time!!!

LAST TIME U HAD UR HEART BROKEN: august last yr but mended up too..

LAST TIME U FELL DEEPLY IN LOVE: uhhh... none so far..but i know i'm in a right love..

LAST PERSON U MISSED: my dad

LAST PERSON U KISSED: mallows..

LAST PERSON U FELL IN LOVE WITH: him

LAST FOOD U ATE: luncheon meat w/ketchup rice for breakfast

LAST DRINK: water

LAST THING U BOUGHT: extra rice for him

LAST CD U BOUGHT: tunog acoustic..?

LAST TIME U RENTED A VCD/CD: i dont rent

LAST TIME U BOUGHT A VCD/DVD: i don't buy as well

LAST TAKEN PHOTO OF URSELF: awhile ago at d pre-gown fitting boutique

LAST MALL U WENT TO: isetann?hhaha..

LAST TIME U TRIPPED AND FELL: cant remember

LAST TIME U BROKE A GLASS: when was 12

LAST TIME U PRAYED: yesterday

LAST TIME U WENT OUT WITH FRIENDS: 2 weeks ago

LAST PLACE U WENT TO: at the boutique w/my soon-to-wed sistah

LAST ANO?: hmmm ..i just think you might want to elaborate further..

LAST ANNOYANCE: last night.. at the bathroom there was this li'l cockroach beside the sink...eewww!

LAST SAID ONLINE: whatever it is i just typed, i suppose!

LAST TIME U GOT ANGRY: last week with my cousin

LAST PERSON(s) U WENT OUT WITH: my sister